3 yips and a whimper for media

I love watching the news. It completely crushes your sense of humanity. I don't really understand it's purpose any more, but that's okay.

It informs me that to protect their citizenry from rocket attacks, the Israeli Defense Force executes an air strike to kill a Hamas leader. They blew up the wrong car and killed 3 of the wrong people, but that's okay, the 13 year-old probably would have grown up to hate Israel and would have had to have been exterminated at some point, or maybe he would have just died in one of the many other "botched" Israeli attacks.

Something national! A tasering in Vancouver! A man challenges a group of cops to a fight while the Gov. General gives a speech! He was out of control! We couldn't stop him! Zippidy-zap-zap and the mother fucker is under control. There was no other way!

He'll later be charged with assaulting a police officer. Who the fuck was this guy, Hulk Hogan on crack? He got a little rowdy so they tasered him? How many of these events have to occur 'til the little boys and girls in blue get their toys taken away?

And now for something local! "Board Makes New Revelations on Black Schools"

"'I would like to see a school where students can walk in and walk out with their heads held high,' said community advocate Donna Harrow. " Riiiiiight. "A new report by the TDSB staff recommends the idea be pushed through. The document found that about 40 per cent of black students drop out of high school, a statistic that prompted the issue."

So...without actually stating WHY 40% of black kids drop out of school...the answer must be to make a school for only black kids? I dunno, is there some sort of gap in logic here? Am I confusing myself by putting all that quoted information in one paragraph?

"Several major factors still need to be ironed out, such as whether it would be a high school or an elementary school." Yeah, and who the fuck is getting fired for giving the O.K. to this dumb ass idea. It's not fair to have just an all-black school. That just screams bias. I think we should have some all-white schools, so those beautiful blue-eyed blonde mother fuckers don't get all muddied up from contact with the rest of us.
I don't think I need to go on in how this would be a stupid idea, whether it was elementary kids only knowing other black kids or trying to force all the drop-outs into one institution, where I doubt they'd be inclined to stay anyways. Why don't we just completely segregate society? That's what black people have always wanted right? Segregation?

40% of black kids dropping out of school? Here's a real solution: ban BET in Canada and stop clustering low income housing so much. Maybe set up a "scared straight" program where you ship delinquent kids off to, I dunno, Baltimore or Detroit.

Ah well. Finish me off with a heart-warming piece about man's love for animals.